Oh for Pete's sake.

Dear Newcomers,

Will you people quit your flatlander whining?  It's making my ears bleed.  I *told* you it was going to be like this and y'all didn't believe me and moved your heat lovin' asses up here anyway.

If you didn't already, take yourself over and read the Newcomer's Snow Survival Guide.  I'll wait.  Now, see how you are?  All that information was right there and you believed your lyin' ass realtor instead.  *sigh*  What AM I going to do with you.

Yes, it's going to snow like mad and you're going to easily hit 3-5 feet on a mild Winter.  Yes, you're likely going to get stuck and snowed in at some point, no matter how fine your bad ass vehicle actually is.  Yes, the power is going to go out.  Yes, the phones might go out.  Yes, you might run out of propane and your company might not be able to get a truck up here.  Yes, your mail might be delayed.  Yes, you might not get your trash picked up.  Yes, it's COLD out there.

Anyhoo, you're here for the time being unless you decide to go live with your Momma'n'em or some friend who lives down in the sunshine and is willing to let you couch surf until it's safe to come up again.  Your house might go on the market the second the first little daffodil pokes it little green head up out of the cold, cold ground, but I gotta tell you, that's only about 2/3 of the way through Winter, so pace yourself.  In fact, you might be peeping outside at the current beautiful blue skies and laughing nervously and calling your family who lives down in civilization to tell them that you made it through the hard, cold Winter of 2008 in Grizzly Flats.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.

Old Man Winter is JUST getting fired up.  In fact, we don't usually even GET snow much before now, so we're just getting started, Beybeys.  The earliest we've seen snow since we moved up here was the middle of October and the latest we've seen it was around the 6th of June.  This right here is just the snow foundation for the snow house that will be built over the next couple of months.  Usually, you can pretty much figure yourself clear by the middle of May with just the occasional freak snow storm to shake things up.  When you start to see the dogwood trees blooming, you'll know we've got at least one more good one still coming. 

For you city folks, and you know who you are, this is what dogwood trees look like:

They are spindly, yet kind of bushy little trees with white blooms like the ones above, said to represent the wounds of Christ and in the center, the nailprints.  Here is the basic deal.

So these little beauties are all over Grizzly Flats and when you start to see them blooming, you know that Spring is here, but you also know that Spring means it's still snowtime and we're going to get a good one, no matter how warm it gets in the interim.

Don't get lulled into a fine sense of security and start giving your wood away. 

Additionally, don't decide to hotdog your way down Logan's Grade if there is even a little bit of snow around town.  I'm what I'd consider a very proficient snow/ice driver and last week, it suckered me in.  There had previously been a "Road Closed" sign (the first I'd ever seen up here) at the top of the Grade and I was on my way to town.  The other roads, Grizzly Flat, String Canyon, Evergreen, Tyler, Sciaroni, were crystal clear, even though there was still snow on the ground to the side.  I went to the top, "Road Closed" sign was gone and the road looked clear.  I came around the corner slowly and zip!  My little Jeep Liberty slid right over onto the bank away from the cliff.   It was slick enough that even in 4-wheel drive, I couldn't back up to get back to Grizzly Flat Road and God knows there's no place to turn around until you get to the mine shaft.  There was no choice but to go forward, so after some manipulating, I managed to get the car worked up over the snow and ice that had suddenly developed after the nice clear part of the road and slowly started eeking my way down the grade.  Going slow, staying in 2nd gear and keeping the Jeep in 4-wheel drive, I was making it along fine until I got to the mine shaft road.  Right there on the wrong side of the road was a road grader.  Not the snow plow, but that big ass road grader.  Now I know that Jeep intimately and its clearance is mapped well into my head. I knew I could get around the grader.  It would be close, but I could do it if he'd just move over a teenincey bit.  Nothing doing.  He not only refused to budge, but started frantically motioning me to go into the mine shaft road, which was at full berm.  I went over as little as I could into the berm and because of the angle, I slid fully into it.  I totally could have gotten around him if he hadn't been such a hysterical old woman about it.  Shit.  So there I was, forced off the road by some hormonal road grader driver.  Right behind the road grader was Mike Lawless, who strapped my Jeep up to his brand new Jeep and dragged me out of the berm, all the while giving me "The Look" that the Grizzly Flats vets give the dumb little newbie fresh fish who can't navigate the roads. 

I think he would have preferred to strap me up to his new Jeep and drag me around for a while, but I'd prefer not to talk about that.

The rest of the trip down the grade was uneventful, unlike my trip down the mountain today with Eric (not down Logan's Grade and I mean it, y'all stay off the Grade until around July, OK?).  There were icy parts all the way down to the Somerset post office.  Some of it was really bad, so y'all be careful when you decide to go flying up or down the hill.

The life you save might be, well, mine.

Be Particular,