Time is just flying by and here I can't even believe it has been 6 weeks since I updated this column.  Life isn't even really supposed to be busy until the Summer time, but I'll be danged if it hasn't plowed right through the Winter and Spring, which is supposed to be my down time!

When last I wrote to you folks, I had just been in the Placerville Hardware Store and had a sock monkey experience of the life altering variety.  You can click here to read about it and if you're going to get the fullest joy and satisfaction out of reading this entry, you really ought to go read that one.  I'll wait while you do. 

I am now a couple of months into the whole monkey and bear purveying bit and I have to say, it's going quite well and is a very zen-like, enjoyable process.  It is, however, a bit time consuming.

There's another side to the story that I didn't tell before because I wasn't quite sure that it was mine to tell, but I have been assured that it is.

Around the same time that I got knocked upside the head by the Hardware Monkey Experience (Now do you see what I mean?  You have to go read the other thing or you just don' t have a clue what I'm talking about when I refer to my near-spiritual, come-to-Jesus sock monkey issue, now do you?), I was also brewing up something with my heterosexual life partner, Jackie.

A lot of you know Jackie and in case you only know her by face and not by name, I'm going to post the photo I always use of her only because I feel it captures her truest essence.  This is from the July 4th parade last year:

So that's Jackie and most of what we do, we do together 'cause she's m'boo an' all.  Anyway, Jackie has this (we say it in hushed tones) skin condition that causes her to break out a bit and makes her skin really sensitive to different dyes and fragrances and artificial additives and things like that.  She has struggled with what kind of over-the-counter soaps and fragrances and stuff like that to use for a while now and it's largely trial and error (painful error when it's an error).  My skin is just typical, old woman farmer skin and I can use just about everything and anything, but hey, I like a little pampering like anyone.

Jackie and I also both use a complete, unbelievable ton of candles.  I go through more candles than the Vatican, I swear, and I'm not even Catholic, although Eric used to be.  So Jackie and I are having a conversation about 3 months or so ago and we decide that we want to figure out how to make body stuff ourselves.  We figure it can't be that hard since there's so much on it on the market, but it might be a little harder than we're hoping, because there's so much of it on the market that's crap.  So off we go to the biggest library in the whole, wide world, meaning the world wide web or The Internet.  We did a big ol' ton of research and figured out what all we needed to order and learn and mess with and then we got busy in her kitchen.  What you have to picture in your mind are two of the Queens of Grizzly Flats hunkered over a big ol' cauldron, stirring and smelling and experimenting and jotting down and crunching numbers and burning ourselves a bunch of times and testing and complaining and swearing until we got it right. 

I think it is safe to humbly say that we have perfected the fine art of skin care solutions.  Woot!!  So far, we have made body milks (a very light lotion that smells great and gets your skin really soft, really fast), skin softening gels (a thicker cream that provides a heavier, deeper coverage), shower gel (which is about to become body shampoo because Jackie got brave and washed her hair with it and it not only came out GREAT, but it also didn't make her hair fall out yet), goats milk soaps and we're working on a body fragrance spray.  It all matches up as far as scents and colors to each other.  We also make really nice votive candles and little sachets, which you can put in your undie or lingerie drawer, hang on a hanger in your closet, put in your luggage or even under your car seat.  The smell is just deeeevine.  We also branched out into my own personal favorite, hand dipped, all natural incenses. 

On top of that, there are the really cool monkeys and bears (I am working now of July 4th bears and Burger Night bears with authentic Burger Night aprons) and Grizzly Flats and Diva post cards and note cards.

Here are samples of the cards (because I know you're dying to see):

Click each small one to see the bigger version

Those are the post cards and this is these are the note cards:

All of that comes together to make our new business called "Mountain Divaz," since that's exactly what we are.  There is a website at www.mountaindivaz.com where you can go to see our full product line except for the cards, which aren't sold online.

We are also at the Diamond Springs Swap Meet every Sunday until around 2pm and we'd really love it if you'd stop by and say hello sometimes.  Well, most of you, anyway. 

Now, I know that sounds like one big long commercial for mine and Jackie's fledgling business and well, it is, because it's one of the fine benefits of playing boss on a website.

All that being said, I want to talk about the snow because Lord knows I can chew on some crow when some crow chomping might be in order and I would say that there's a good possibility that now might be the time.  Yes, it's a bit premature, but I don't want anyone sitting around talking smack about how I don't own up when I'm wrong, not that I'm quite wrong just yet.

A couple of months ago, I was scaring the newbies a bit by warning ominously that they should not settle into the warm just yet and start planting their petunias for the deer to eat and putting fresh coats of paint on their little garages and such because the snow wasn't over. 

It's very rare that we don't have at least one freak snow storm after the dogwoods bloom, but this year, even the experts are saying that we might just slip by.  That's good and that's bad.  It's good because I really hate the snow after about the first 20 minutes of it looking pretty.  Then I'm done.  It's bad because our water tables are low and we really do need the snow for the run off.  Since we have vipers on all sides trying to steal our cool mountain water as it is, we need all of it we can get.  We got very little rain last year and now very little snow this Winter and that does not do our land the good it needs to be done. 

Anyway, I'm just saying that we might be safe.  The year I moved here, which was in March, the air was nice and warm and we ended up having one major snow and hailstorm in April, which was gone in a day and that was it.  Another year, we got good snowfall in JUNE after the kids had been out of school for a couple of weeks.  It only lasted a day or so and was gone.  We do expect "snow on the dogwood" after it blooms, which just happened a couple of weeks ago, but with the water tables low, the dogwoods bloomed late and now pretty much anything could happen. 

Give it until the first of June, then start gardening with a fair amount of confidence that it won't be turned into little weedy popcicles.

Be Particular, Friends,