Over the holiday weekend, I was thinking about something that used to be around when I was growing up but seems to have fallen by the wayside like 8-track tapes and Betamax.  That's flag etiquette.

[Note:  Every time I hear that word, I think of "Our Gang" and little Stimey saying, "Who et a cat?"]

When I was in the second grade roughly around the dawning of the twentieth century, it was actually part of our curriculum.  We were taught very early on how one displayed and cared for the American flag.

I am likely not the most objective person to discuss the topic because I'm very opinionated on it and also very patriotic.  Most of that comes from having been married to US Air Force Servicemen for a good bit of my adult life.  I was with my first husband for almost 20 years of military life and when he left and I met and married Eric, I entered into another 5 years of being married to a military man.

Both of my husbands took their obligation to the country very seriously and served with honor.  I was very proud of them in that respect.  Both of them were in career fields where they could be told to be ready in an hour to deploy and not be told where they were going or when they would return.  Both were in career fields that would likely take them into the heart of any war zone we happened to be inhabiting at that time.

Usually, deployment was scheduled well in advance with it being known at what base they would be landing.  Most servicemen during the time when it affected me and my family fully expected to be gone a few times a year for a few days or weeks at a time.  There were military wives who never really adapted to that idea and would fall apart every single time their husbands would deploy. 

When Desert Storm hit (the first one), I worked in an OB/GYN clinic at George AFB near Victorville, California and that's where you saw the real nitty gritty of who was holding it together and who "got it" versus who wasn't and who didn't. 

I learned some hard facts about life by working there and the bottom line is that sometimes, all you can do is hand someone a tissue.  That's where I learned to, when necessary, disconnect from the emotion of a situation and just figure out what needs to be done and more importantly, what even can be done if anything.  I've had more than a couple of women lean over my counter and say through gritted teeth, "You don't understand... I CAN'T be 6 weeks pregnant.  My husband has been in Saudi Arabia for 5 months!!"  In this instance, "can't" is and was rather subjective.  Could be and was is more accurate

Then there is the heartbreaking, "The doctor HAS to write a letter to get my husband back here right now because our baby is due is less than a week!"  Somewhere along the way back in the 1990's, people had forgotten what being at war really means and still believed it was all about them and what they need.

You just hand them a tissue and explain the facts and gently and matter-of-factly as possible.

As I said, I am very patriotic in the sense that I believe in and dearly love our country.  Like any other country or circumstance that has become an entity unto itself, it has made big, glaring, horrible mistakes.  Agendas and egos and special interests get in the way of what is best for the people or the country as a whole and that is definitely a fault.  But I still love it. 

I treat politics as I treat religion: I embrace it deeply, to a near cellular level.  I hold sincere, heartfelt beliefs and I take it very, very seriously, but I don't play for any team.  I don't claim any of the parties because they are all seriously flawed in their basic philosophies, are unwilling to acknowledge or remedy their own very obvious faults, blame everyone else for all that's wrong with the situation  and are basically clubs with which I do not wish to associate or be associated with (this is soundly more like my religious stance all the time, now that I think about it).  I am a theology unto myself and plan to remain as such.

One of my least popular opinions that I hold to firmly is that I do not believe the Pledge of Allegiance should be recited in school.  I believe it should be taught, but not recited on a daily basis.  I appreciate the thought behind the practice, but because I take the pledge seriously rather than as words spoken in rote, I fully believe that the person making the pledge should be of an age as to fully understand what they are saying and what the country is about to which they are pledging said allegiance.  People do not have a good concept of things like political structure, foreign policy, domestic policy and other ways that our country represents itself to the rest of the world until they are adults and then they should be pledging away if they are of a mind to do so.  Kids have a basic idea that they are saying something important to honor our country and our flag, but don't have the foundation on which to make a decision as to whether or not they DO pledge their complete allegiance to our country. 

There are many who say I over-think it, but to me words are important and are the most powerful tools we use in our lives.  I feel too often they are wielded carelessly and this is one of those times.  Let the kiddies sing of our purple mountains' majesty or stand under the umbrella of the red, white and blue, but in my opinion, people under the age of 18 are usually not informed or mature enough to be throwing around allegiance. 

We don't let them vote; why do we think they are smart enough to pledge?

When a see all of these little ones lined up, facing the flag and pledging to the country it represents, rather than getting all warmed up in the Norman Rockwell cockles of my cold little heart, I instead remember the newsreels showing "Hitler's Youth" who were also pledging their lives, energy and devotion to a cause they were not mature enough to understand.

It creeps me out, honestly. 

I get really uncomfortable being around people who are bashing the United States.  Mind you, those same people do not hesitate to avail themselves of all of the benefits that being an American has to offer but they do so while they bitch and complain and criticize from their armchairs and their front porches.  I appreciate their right to complain and denounce our leaders because they would be arrested and sometimes put to death for doing so in a lot of other countries. 

I'll go on record as saying that I don't like George W. Bush even a little bit.  That doesn't make me a pinko communist or a bleeding heart liberal or a democrat, although many would dispute that notion.  It just means that based on what I've seen of the man, I don't like him, don't respect him and I don't trust him.  I also didn't vote for him (either time). 

So no, I don't like ol' G Dub and when I take it upon myself to discuss him, I don't typically speak highly of him.  Criticizing people doesn't bother or offend me.  (Although if you'll reference last time's rage column, you'll see that insane ranting does leave me edgy.  Intelligent discussion or someone having a different opinion is no reason, in my opinion, to be upset.)  Criticizing our country and talking about how awful America, however does piss me off.  Like Merle sang all those years ago, "You're walkin on the fightin side of me."

As I said, there are definitely a plethora of wounds that need to heal and mistakes that need to be corrected in our country, but I still feel we are the greatest nation in the world with the best opportunities for hard work and motivation to pay off.  I often wonder why, if people are so angry at our country, they don't just work hard with the prime objective of moving to another one. I'm sure our critical mass would be much more positive if they left and they would, of course, be so much happier no longer having to bear the burden of being an ugly American.

It has been so long since I went to the polls knowing there was someone I truly believe in that it always feels as though I am choosing the lesser of the evils when I vote.  I have to seriously evaluate who is less likely to put the country completely tits up in the next four or likely eight years (considering the whole incumbent usually wins rule).  I hate voting.  It's like asking me if I want Jack the Ripper or Ted Bundy or OJ Simpson or Frankenstein to babysit my kids and being told I have to pick one.

I was so disenchanted with every single candidate for governor that I actively voted for Arnold not because his platform was any better than anyone else's (they were all fairly lame), but because I didn't know I'd ever get a chance to have The Terminator as my governor again.  Pathetic, I know, but if I can't support a candidate because they are speaking my heart for our state or country, I'll default to the baser reasons every time.

But I was talking about flag etiquette long ago and far away.

Back in my younger days, the flag was sacred.  Raising the flag was more than just running it up the flag pole and walking away.  It was a ritual entered into with great reverence and feeling. 

You never let the flag touch the ground.  If it did, you folded it, buried it and got a new one.

If a flag became too old and in such disrepair as to not be used, it was likewise buried; never, ever burned.

If the flag was to be flown at half-mast, it had to first be run up the flagpole to full mast, then solemnly lowered to half-mast.

When the flag was taken down, it was immediately folded into a football shape by the people who lowered it.  It was not balled up to be dealt with later.

The flag was never, ever displayed with the stars (back then, called "the union") to the left or worse, upside down.  To do so was heresy.

You never, ever, ever wore the flag as an article of clothing.  To do so was the height of disrespect, which is why it was such a big deal when Hustler publisher, Larry Flint, appeared in court wearing an American flag as a diaper.  The only time a person wore a flag was when it was draped over their coffin.

If a U.S. flag is displayed with other flags, it should be in the center and slightly higher.

If a flag is displayed on one side, a speaker/podium in the middle and another flag (such as a state flag) on the other side, the US flag is to the speaker's right from their perspective.

When the flag is displayed on a car, it should be flying on the right (passenger) side.

If it was even sprinkling a little bit, much less a full on rain, that flag came down and was put away. 

When the flag passed by in a parade or was addressed in an assembly, it didn't matter who you were, what faith you were or how old you were, you stand up and hats come off and hands go to hearts.  As you can tell from what I said above, it doesn't matter to me whether or not a person actually pledges to the flag or not; that's between them and their own spirits.  But I can see no reason at all why a person can't show respect to the country that gives them full freedom not to give it respect and affords the opportunities and blessings that we take for granted every day.  Do not offend me by sitting on your ass when the flag is being respected and acting like it doesn't matter.

To learn more about flag etiquette without my lofty opinions included, you can click here.  It also explains why rules like bringing the flag in out of the rain were abandoned.

And thusly ends my patriotical rant.

Be particular,