Housework was a woman's job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer.

Dinner was on the stove, and the table set.

She was astonished!

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have sex.

The night went well and the next day, she told her office friends all about it. "We had a great dinner. Ralph even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening."

"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.

"Oh, that was perfect too. Ralph was too tired. .."

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed"

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.  She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.  She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.  She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important thing s to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed."

And he did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?

BECAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL.....

plus, we can't die sooner because we still have stuff to do!

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled "You Can Be the Man of Your House".  He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said sternly, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law!  You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have all the kind of sex that I want. After that, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then you will massage my feet and hands. Then after that's done, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

His wife replied dryly, "My guess would be the funeral director."

OK, fellas, I hear you moaning and groaning, so here's one for you:

The Hormone Hostage  

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:  What's for dinner?  
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?  
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.  
=================================
DANGEROUS:  Are you wearing that?  
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!  
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!  
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine!  
==================================
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?  
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?  
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.  
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
====================================
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?  
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.  
SAFEST: Can I get you a  piece of chocolate with that?  
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
=====================================
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?  
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.  
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!  
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more wine!!!!!  

Smart humor

And Lastly, Kids New to Grizzly Flats:

"Look, Daddy!  Kitties!!"